life

#PositiveOutcomesOnly

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From 2010 to 2011, a show called Hellcats aired on The CW. It was a show about cheerleaders starring Ashley Tisdale and Aly Michalka. As a Disney fan (they played in The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Phil of the Future respectively) and a former cheerleader*, I was interested in the show before it premiered and then fell in love with it.

At this point in time, I don’t remember much more about it except that Aly Michalka’s character didn’t want to be on the squad but ended up joining anyway and Ashley Tisdale’s character didn’t like her at first but they grew to beome friends, typical.

The thing that I took away from the show however, is the phrase “positive outcomes only.” It was Tisdale’s character’s personal mantra and she said it anytime something started to go wrong. She also wrote it on Michalka’s arm at one point with a sharpie. Since she first uttered the phrase on my TV, “positive outcomes only” has stuck with me.

Many people use the phrase “good vibes only” as a positive life motto but it never seemed enough to me. Sending people good vibes may be enough to keep them in a state of calm, but I have never been able to work well when calm. I’ve needed the stress and the pressure to get me through the day to ensure that I end up with a desirable result or, positive outcome. I need to work towards a goal.

This is why, since the first time I heard it, “positive outcomes only” has been my motto. I don’t just want to stay positive all the time- I know I’m not going to be positive all the time because that’s not who I am or how I work. I have bad days. I’ve broken down. I’ve wondered what I’m working towards and why I’m killing myself working towards it. To ask myself to be positive all the time would be setting myself up for failure. What I can ask of myself though, is to take all of that negativity- the tears, the screaming, the frustration, and nights that I’ve wanted to give up on it all- and channel it into something great so that it wasn’t all in vain. Since then, I’ve always kept a goal in mind and tried to work towards it repeating “positive outcomes only” to myself at every step of the way.

Most recently, this has gotten me through graduation from The University of Tampa and I’m not ready for it to stop me there.

 

 

 

*Yes, I was a cheerleader when I was younger. I did it for a year when I was 8 and was not a big fan. I still can’t do a cartwheel.

Post-Grad Life Update #3: I Got a Job (Sort of)

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If you’ve been following this blog since its creation, or me at all, you know that I’ve been on the job hunt since before I left Florida and even since before I graduated from UT. It was nerve-racking. I’d never really saved properly before graduation because I didn’t have to and then I was suddenly living in a new city with a new human without a source of income. We still had to pay bills, buy groceries, fill up our gas tanks to be able to drive to job interviews- but there was no money coming in to match that going out. Everyone kept telling me something would come my way eventually and I just had to be patient but patience is not my strong suit. I’d been applying to jobs non-stop. With no luck on my own for a few months, I turned to a staffing agency at the advice of a former supervisor.

The type of staffing agency I’d worked for before was for event staff. I basically worked as a waitress for hours at a time and I was not a huge fan. Many people were not nice because they saw the waitstaff as “help,” and that was it. This, to my surprise and happiness, was not that type of staffing. They’d take my resume and line me up for interviews that they thought I’d work well in. I had to go in for an initial interview with them so they could feel me out, and then it all went from there. They got me an interview at a company that had a keg in the office and employees walking around in basketball shorts- they seemed fun and like a great fit for me in their culture.

And then I messed up the interview.

I didn’t go in looking like a slob or telling them weird personal stories, I just raved too much about my dreams of working for Rooster Teeth one day and that turned them away from me as a potential full-time and long-term employee.

Lesson learned: people want you to sound like you’re planning to stick around.

I was devastated. Though it was only a part-time position, and not anywhere near my field, it was something and the company looked like fun. I spent about an hour just sitting on the couch thinking about my life when I got a phone call from a 512 number I didn’t know. It was from a company that’d I’d applied for, then heard nothing back from before they closed the posting. I figured they’d picked someone and I was not that someone. To my surprise, they were very impressed with me and wanted me to maybe come in for an interview after a bit more deliberation. They said they’d call me within the week to set up an interview, so I waited. I stopped rapidly applying for things but kept my eye out for anything that seemed more up my alley. The weekend came and passed as did Monday then when Tuesday came, I got a call, but from the staffing agency.

There was a temp position available that day through the rest of the week and into the next with the potential to become a permanent hire. I took it without a thought and figured that if the other company really wanted me, they’d have to act quickly, or hope that where I was going to work for the time being was a horrible place. It’s not, and I’m still here. The other place never called me back. I’m not mad.

This office is amazing and while I still don’t know if it’s going to turn into a full-time, permanent job, I’m happy for the time I’ve gotten to work here. I’ve met great people and learned a bit more about what being an adult is like, not to mention, today was my first payday and I finally have something going into my bank account.

It’s not an ideal position or pay, but I don’t seem to have the experience I thought I did coming out of college, so I’m really focusing on the culture of the company and I love it. They have multiple departments and offices too (I could potentially travel to Sydney?!?) so it seems like there is room for growth.

I’m pretty h*ckin’ optimistic right now.

 

The Best Time of the Month

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For the past 17 months, around the middle of the month an email has come to my inbox and within about a week from that day this package has come to my mailbox. This is the packaging that ipsy sends their GlamBags in. It’s super pink, super shiny, and super squishy. They bring a smile to my face.

This month’s theme is Over Easy and features Gudetama who is an adorable little lazy egg character that I connect to so hard. The bag has an image of him on it and it is shimmery. In the bag, I got a COUGAR Beauty Cosmetics 24-Hour Liquid Lipstick in Mulberry, Ciate London Wonderwand Gel-Kohl Hybrid Liner in Black, OFRA Cosmetics Gold Rush Eyeshadow, Hempz Ultra Moisturizing Herbal Lip Balm, and two TONYMOLY I’m Real Sheet Masks in Green Tea and Lotus. Along with all of those fabulous products, I had also redeemed points for a Her Minerals Professional Blending Sponge.

I don’t know how much I’m going to use the eyeshadow or eyeliner, but I will return with updates and reviews as I try them. Even if I don’t continue using the products after I initially try them, I always try them at least once to review them. That’s how you get points!

On a completely unrelated note, Luke and I went to Target today on a mission. In the time that he was “living with me” in Tampa, every time we went to Target, we looked at a cookie jar. It was a grey cookie jar shaped as a little hippo. It was $20 and every single time I basically begged Luke to let me buy it but since we were in Tampa and knew we’d be moving to Austin, he always said no because it was another thing we’d have to move. Well, today, I would like to introduce you to Puds, the newest addition to our little family.

Yes, having a cookie jar means we will be baking cookies. Yes, I will post photos of him filled with cookies. For now, here he is in all of his cute glory. I love him.

Post-Grad Life Update #2

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I am still on a job hunt and it still sucks. What sucks more is what happened a couple days ago. Before heading out to the grocery store with Luke, my phone lit up with emails (as it does multiple times a day), but there was one that was different. Amid the sea of promotional store coupons and emails from Indeed.com telling me that new jobs had been posted, there was one from a real person reaching out to me. I said I would check it out fully later and we went to the store.

Later finally came and I pulled my laptop out to read the email. A recruiter reached out to me after I updated my resume and location on Indeed.com because they had job openings they thought I would fit. I checked out both of the descriptions and they didn’t really sound like something I wanted because they were in sales and making cold calls, but they reached out to me and I need a job so I clicked the button that said I was interested.

Fast-forward a couple of days and I’m watching Luke play some video game when I get a phone call from a 512 area-code. I pick up the phone and it’s the recruiter that sent me the email. I quickly got up and walked into the other room (our bedroom, we don’t have a big place) and she tells me about the job and asks if I’m interested. I tell her I am and she says that she will forward my resume to her hiring managers and I will hear back before the end of the next day.

The next day comes and I don’t think much of it but I am online again looking at new job postings when an email comes in. It’s from the recruiter. She says they’ve decided to pursue different candidates.

I wasn’t very excited about this job to begin with but the fact that they reached out to me and then decided that they didn’t want me seems like they could have saved all of us some time and energy and not reached out in the first place. They got my hopes up for something I didn’t even want and then crushed them and I wasn’t in a very good mood the rest of the day.

 

Today, however, is Sunday. I have put in a multitude of new applications today as well as sending an email out to a company that may not even have any openings in the hopes that my forwardness will make myself stand out and they’ll hire me anyways. Tomorrow, we will see how all of this pans out. Maybe I’ll just go to the pool to take a break from it for an hour or two. Or maybe it will storm again and keep me confined to the indoors. Only time will tell.

Post-Grad Life Update #1

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It is a Tuesday at noon and I am sitting in my new apartment in Austin, TX writing a post on my brand new blog!

Yes, Tuesday at noon at home.

No, this is not ideal.

I’ve been on the job hunt since April and have had no luck so far. Back then, it was a little less pertinent and scary because I hadn’t even graduated college yet and I knew I was going to need time to figure myself out and do all the traveling I had planned i.e. a move to Austin from Tampa. Now though, it’s a bit scary. I haven’t let the panic totally set in yet because I’m hopeful and optimistic. I’m still applying and putting myself out there and I know something is going to happen soon. In the meantime, I’ll be updating this blog with different little things going on in my life and I may start up YouTube videos again because apparently I still think I’m interesting enough for people to watch and/or listen to me. Luke will probably make an appearance here and there, so even if you don’t like me, maybe watch for him?

 

Just kidding, why wouldn’t you like me?

And just because I am a narcissist and I want to show off his photo skills, here’s a photo he took of me at an overlook on Capital of Texas Highway. He’s not as bad at he thinks he is. Also yes, it is the same as my default photo… it’s the most recent good photo of me, alright?